I’m sorry you’re going through something hard, Allison. I’m fully in the cry camp- to the point where it might be overboard sometimes. Also I love reading about the support Paul offers 💜
Paul could be the star of every essay I write, if I didn't think it would eventually get boring for the readers. Ha! Thank you for the kind words, Susan. And keep crying! It's good for you, and inspiring to me.
The angst of not being able to stop crying once we start is so universal! Thanks for sharing that fear, Allison, and helping us see how things can look different.
This story really hit home with me. I've been stressed lately over things I can't control. And I'm well aware of my risen shoulders and tight muscles. Once a masseuse told me, "I didn't think you were going to let me in." I carry stress and I think it's obvious to those around me, but I believe if I hold back the tears (or the laughter), no one will notice my stress. My sister can cry, almost on demand. I'm not a crier and I wish I could, but I feel that I have lost the battle, whatever it is, if I cry. Often, we are experiencing the same emotion, yet we express it so differently. She cries, I get quietly angry. It seems so socially acceptable when my sister cries. I can't express my emotions so publicly.
"I feel that I have lost the battle, whatever it is, if I cry." ... wow, this resonated so much for me Liz, and it's beautifully stated. Thanks for providing this insight. Let's both work on letting those cleansing tears flow, shall we?
I absolutely loved this story. I had a similar need to cry recently and I let myself bawl. It felt so good! And what was even stranger was that there was no ostensible reason for me to cry. I was simply overwhelmed by sadness and a diffuse sense of loss. I recall reading a while back that a good cry releases endorphins. And, as you shared about the massage, it appears that laughing works something similar at the opposite end. I also know that being ticklish signals there is tension in the muscles. So it sounds like you might be prone to tensing up your body even when your mind tells you're "fine." Furthermore, even folk wisdom alludes to the fact that crying and laughter are intimately related, as in "I laughed so hard the tears rolled down my face". Glad you found release. I too find it hard to cry. I believe the stoicism so many of us live with is a reflection of cultural conditioning. Being able and free to cry is necessary if we are to be mentally and physically whole. It is not a sign of weakness but of our shared humanity. A book I read a couple of years ago by Native American author Martin Prechtel "The Smell of Rain on Dust: Grief and Praise" was a genuine eyeopener about the strictures Euro-centric western culture places on the expression of grief and sadness. The writing is more like magical realism, rather than a cultural critique per se or a "how to". Powerfully compelling and wise!
There's so much wisdom in your comment Larissa! I will definitely check out that book recommendation.
"I believe the stoicism so many of us live with is a reflection of cultural conditioning. Being able and free to cry is necessary if we are to be mentally and physically whole. It is not a sign of weakness but of our shared humanity." I couldn't have said it better myself. I think one of the best gifts we can give our friends and loved ones is to encourage them to cry whenever they need to!
I’m sorry you’re going through something hard, Allison. I’m fully in the cry camp- to the point where it might be overboard sometimes. Also I love reading about the support Paul offers 💜
Paul could be the star of every essay I write, if I didn't think it would eventually get boring for the readers. Ha! Thank you for the kind words, Susan. And keep crying! It's good for you, and inspiring to me.
The angst of not being able to stop crying once we start is so universal! Thanks for sharing that fear, Allison, and helping us see how things can look different.
Thank you for taking the time to let me know that this resonated with you, Elizabeth. I am so appreciative of your support.
This story really hit home with me. I've been stressed lately over things I can't control. And I'm well aware of my risen shoulders and tight muscles. Once a masseuse told me, "I didn't think you were going to let me in." I carry stress and I think it's obvious to those around me, but I believe if I hold back the tears (or the laughter), no one will notice my stress. My sister can cry, almost on demand. I'm not a crier and I wish I could, but I feel that I have lost the battle, whatever it is, if I cry. Often, we are experiencing the same emotion, yet we express it so differently. She cries, I get quietly angry. It seems so socially acceptable when my sister cries. I can't express my emotions so publicly.
"I feel that I have lost the battle, whatever it is, if I cry." ... wow, this resonated so much for me Liz, and it's beautifully stated. Thanks for providing this insight. Let's both work on letting those cleansing tears flow, shall we?
I absolutely loved this story. I had a similar need to cry recently and I let myself bawl. It felt so good! And what was even stranger was that there was no ostensible reason for me to cry. I was simply overwhelmed by sadness and a diffuse sense of loss. I recall reading a while back that a good cry releases endorphins. And, as you shared about the massage, it appears that laughing works something similar at the opposite end. I also know that being ticklish signals there is tension in the muscles. So it sounds like you might be prone to tensing up your body even when your mind tells you're "fine." Furthermore, even folk wisdom alludes to the fact that crying and laughter are intimately related, as in "I laughed so hard the tears rolled down my face". Glad you found release. I too find it hard to cry. I believe the stoicism so many of us live with is a reflection of cultural conditioning. Being able and free to cry is necessary if we are to be mentally and physically whole. It is not a sign of weakness but of our shared humanity. A book I read a couple of years ago by Native American author Martin Prechtel "The Smell of Rain on Dust: Grief and Praise" was a genuine eyeopener about the strictures Euro-centric western culture places on the expression of grief and sadness. The writing is more like magical realism, rather than a cultural critique per se or a "how to". Powerfully compelling and wise!
There's so much wisdom in your comment Larissa! I will definitely check out that book recommendation.
"I believe the stoicism so many of us live with is a reflection of cultural conditioning. Being able and free to cry is necessary if we are to be mentally and physically whole. It is not a sign of weakness but of our shared humanity." I couldn't have said it better myself. I think one of the best gifts we can give our friends and loved ones is to encourage them to cry whenever they need to!